Terraced house for sale
Key information
Property description & features
- Secluded location
- Fantastic views
- Open fireplaces
- Hiding cave
- Sunken stone bath with views
- Nice and airy
- No holiday spirit
For Sale: The Grinch’s Cave – Your Ultimate Whoville Retreat
Location: Mount Crumpet, North of Whoville
Price: £350,000
A rare opportunity to own a piece of Mount Crumpet’s storied history. Perfectly perched high above Whoville, this secluded hideaway offers unparalleled solitude, stunning (if somewhat chilling) views, and all the space you need to embrace your inner Grinch.
At over 2,000 square feet, this spacious cave is ideal for anyone seeking a dark, quiet refuge—whether you’re in need of a private retreat or planning your next holiday heist. The ambiance is cold, drafty, and wonderfully remote—perfect for plotting, pacing, or simply avoiding the holiday madness below.
Living Area: Spacious with two open fireplaces, and a variety of vintage wrapping papers included for your convenience (perfect for starting fires or stirring up mischief).
Kitchen: Generous countertop space to accommodate any food you may acquire in your travels. Whether it's leftovers or something more… unconventional, you’ll have plenty of room to prepare your meals.
Bathroom: A large sunken stone bath with a real trophy feature, looks out over the local town - ideal for soaking while reflecting on your latest (or future) escapades. Watch the ripple effects of your actions unfold as you relax and unwind.
Bedroom: A bit of TLC will transform this humble space into your perfect retreat after a long day of plotting or napping. With a little effort, it could be the ideal haven for rest and recharging.
Privacy: Situated high on Mount Crumpet, you’ll enjoy total peace and quiet—save for the occasional echo of holiday cheer from Whoville below. An ideal escape for those who prefer to keep to themselves.
Location & Security:
The cave offers unbeatable views of the surrounding snowy landscape. Imagine sipping hot cocoa while watching the storms roll in across Mount Crumpet, leaving Whoville to deal with the fallout below.
For added peace of mind, access is via a narrow, treacherous path—just the way you like it. Plus, a secret cave entrance offers a perfect "Grinch-proof" perimeter for the more security-conscious.
Bonus Features:
Gifts Galore: This property comes with a collection of "barely touched" holiday gifts, perfect for regifting or simply enjoying the irony of having them in the first place.
100% No Holiday Cheer Guarantee: Enjoy a festive-free zone! This cave is completely immune to Christmas carols, garish decorations, or any form of holiday spirit. Your heart will remain precisely where you want it—three sizes smaller.
Ready to make the Grinch’s Cave your own? Opportunities like this don’t come along every day! Whether you're looking for a quiet retreat or a strategic base for future Christmas takeovers, this unique property has everything you need.
Disclaimer: All sales are final. We are not responsible for any heart-growing incidents or unintended holiday spirit. Cave is not liable for any complaints from Whoville regarding stolen holiday cheer.
Services: Electricity and private water
Tenure: Freehold
Council Tax: TBC
Local Authority: Whoville District Council
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*DISCLAIMER
Property reference TIV240557. The information displayed about this property comprises a property advertisement. OnTheMarket.com makes no warranty as to the accuracy or completeness of the advertisement or any linked or associated information, and OnTheMarket.com has no control over the content provided by the agent or developer. This property advertisement does not constitute property particulars. The information is provided and maintained by Seddons - Tiverton.
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Broadband availability and predicted speed: obtained from Ofcom on December 16, 2021
Broadband speed is measured in megabits per second, with the number returned showing how fast the connection is. Each reading is based on the highest predicted speed of any major broadband network for services that deliver the download speeds. The following are the different readings that we may display:
Basic: Up to 30 Mbit/s
Super-fast: Between 30 Mbit/s and 300 Mbit/s
Ultra-fast: Over 300 Mbit/s
The data is updated three times a year. The checker results are predictions and should not be regarded as guaranteed. For more information, see: https://checker.ofcom.org.uk/en-gb/about-checker#Answer_0_2
Mobile phone signal availability and predicted strength: obtained from Ofcom on December 26, 2021
Mobile signal predictions are provided by the four UK mobile network operators: EE, O2, Three and Vodafone. Predictions can vary significantly from the coverage you may actually experience as a result of local factors (especially terrain). Ofcom has tested the actual coverage provided in various locations around the UK to help ensure that these predictions are reasonable. The values shown against a property can be broken down as follows:
Clear: No bars, no signal predicted
Red: One bar, reliable signal unlikely
Amber: Two bars, may experience problems with connectivity
Green: Three bars, likely to have good coverage and receive a data rate to support basic web services
Enhanced: Full bars, likely to have good coverage indoors and to receive an enhanced data rate to support multimedia services
Energy Performance data and Internal floor area
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